I don’t normally write philosophical essays, and this is more academically dense than you may be accustom to, but I have a responsibility and duty to elucidate a way of life that will heighten and deepen your relationships. The nature of the subject requires a high level of intellect and understanding, and I sacrificed the ease of consumption and accessibility for the precision of the demanding language, but I encourage you to meet the text with curiosity. The message behind this philosophy is immensely worthwhile, not only as some intellectual exercise, but also something which bears directly on how one lives. I am firmly confident that anyone who engages with this piece meaningfully will not only learn but will emerge a better person.
What do you do at someone’s request? I used to fear their disappointment in me if I did not oblige, and I always aimed to please everyone to the best of my ability. But that is not how one should live. The power of saying “no” is the most significant thing I have found. YOU are the most important person in YOUR life, and should always prioritize yourself over everyone else. When a friend asks to help them move with the reward of beer and pizza, I say “no.” When the IRS asks me to file my taxes, I say “no.” When my bitch wife asks me to look after the kids, I say “no.” And when she says that “I don’t help out with anything around the house, can’t you please do something?” I say “nah.”
You are not be required to do anything you do not want, that is the most crucial lesson I’ve learned from therapy. You need to set up boundaries for yourself, and those boundaries should be set at doing anything for anyone. If someone does not respect your boundaries, then they should not be a part of your life. You have a right to your own autonomy, and no one else has a right to infringe upon it.
The second most important thing I’ve discovered, is that when others say “no,” you have an imperative to force them to comply, because you are solely responsible for enriching your own life and should take every opportunity to better your time on this Earth. When you ask a friend for a ride to the airport and they say, “I can’t,” we must reply with “but you have to.” When you ask your bank for a loan to buy a jetski and they say, “we can’t approve that,” you say “but I need it.” And when you ask your wife to take the kids out of the house because you are having an affair and are too cheap to get a hotel room and she says “I don’t trust you to have the house to yourself,” you say, “too bad, daddy needs to party.”
My life has immensely changed since I took on this philosophy. And even though all my relationships have dissolved, its for the best because if others are audacious enough to ask anything of me, and if they are unwilling to assist me in my time of need, they are not worth my consideration. This is the culmination of my life’s work, and I impart this wisdom onto you, so that you can be the best you, just like me.
Now get out there and start saying, “nah fam.”